WHY DO I KEEP LOSING CONTROL? 

AGAPE SELF CONTROL

You and I produce within us desires that should be denied.

The Lord says, “Like a city that is broken into and without walls is a man who has no control over his spirit” Prov 25:28 (Amp.) Self Control is your protective wall. You and I produce within us desires that should be denied. Desires we should most definitely “control.” As you gain Self Control, you become like a prosperous city with a strong wall of defenses to protect what’s inside from what’s outside. Although strategically listed last, Self Control is KEY to success with all other fruit.

Parable of the Orchard

You have a little orchard that produces luscious fruit. You eagerly head out to harvest some and carefully collect a whole wagon-full of beauties. Each time you get back home it seems like the wagon it not as full as you had thought. Feeling tired you don’t want to take the time to figure it out and day after day it becomes the new normal. Work in the orchard, harvest the crops, settle for less because you’re tired and just want to relax. 

Each time you go out to harvest it happens, slowly enough to not notice and then you decide its not worth the bother. This goes on for a long time, until you begin to wonder if all the work is really worth it. You labor in the orchard, but the harvest just doesn’t seem worth it. Finally, one time after an especially good harvest, and frustrated by the amount of work for the little reward, you travel back home a little ways at a time and then look back to try to figure out how so much effort leaves you with so little fruit. Along the way you don’t find any fruit on the path except a few scraps of eaten fruit that deer or squirrel could have brought out from the orchard. Hmmm. 

Back home, putting the wagon away, you inspect it carefully and there it is – an opening in the corner of the wagon! All this time, no matter how hard you worked or how much you harvested, by the time you got home, a lot of the fruit had already fallen out that little hole in the wagon wall. Critters had gobbled the luscious fruit up as fast as it fell. 

Checking the opening more carefully, you see it’s about the size of Self-Control, usually the largest, and not the tastiest of the nine varieties in your orchard. With an opening that big, any of the fruit could fall out any time, and it didn’t even look like a hole! Ugh. All this time you could have saved huge amounts of fruit and increase your harvest tremendously. It would have taken you through the winters and the droughts. If only you had paid more attention.  

Lack of Self-Control is like a hole in the bottom of your harvest wagon, wasting much the hard work you’d put into you orchard and all the fruitfulness you had actually produced but never got to enjoy. No matter how hard you worked on the trees, the watering and the soil – when it was time to harvest the fruit, something barely noticeable let your fruit leak out. Until you fix the Self-Control sized hole in the basket, you’re going to keep losing more of the valuable fruit you have worked so hard for. 

Satan has the early advantage, before self-control catches up. 

This is especially true in early spiritual maturity. The goal is to decrease the time between temptation and Self Control! 

Peter denying he even knew Jesus when accused of being “one of them,” (hours after he promised he wouldn’t) is a perfect example. His first reaction was to fear his physical safety at the expense of his spiritual safety. Peter’s first reaction: directly from his flesh. Had he taken time to reflect, he never would have made that choice he quickly regretted. Poor Peter, in all fairness, didn’t yet have Holy Spirit active in him, so he was much like an immature believer. 

Peter soon developed the spiritual strength and power to control his natural impulses and choose wisely time after time as he learned step by step up Disciples Mountain to allow Christ’s character to become his. As Jesus taught, “…but everyone when he is fully trained will be like his teacher” Lu 6:40.

You too are able to “…put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires…” and “…be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness” as the Lord teaches through the powerful life change of Paul (Rom 13:14, Eph 4:23-24.)

Holy Spirit in us makes it possible. “Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions… but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness. For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace” Rom 6:12-14. All this illustrates the great battle of flesh and spirit raging in your soul. 

Who is controlling my “self” in self control? 

This is a fundamental question we need to answer! Who is controlling the “self” in self control? So here it is: when Holy Spirit is directing, your control is only used to surrender control to Him. Your “self” is submitted and willing to get out of the way. 

As spiritual Fruit, Self Control grows as surrender grows. The more we surrender, the more Holy Spirit can lead. We use our control to give away our control to the Lord. 

Peak 220: “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me” Gal 2:20. Jesus modeled this for us perfectly. Self Control allows us to get out of Holy Spirit’s way!   

When it comes to self-control, the Lord pulls no punches, saying, “If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you” calling you to be willing to pay any cost to surrender and gain the Spirit-filled Life. He is willing, YOU have to be willing (Mt 5:29.) 

Interestingly, the Greek word for “strive” as in “Strive to enter through the narrow door” is agonizesthe, from which we have “agonize.” You must “…labor, striving according to His power, which mightily works within…” Col 1:29 “for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control” 2 Tim 1:7. We can help one another develop this spirit that inspires self-discipline, starting especially with the children.

The Lord empowers you as we surrender your fear and insecurity, pride, weakness, and comfort in order to know Him. Ultimately, faith is surrender. Instead of manipulating to get something and withholding Love if you don’t, surrender to Love, in faith. 

• Surrender so you can Love (Eph 5:2.) 
• Surrender to Joy when facing unhappiness (1 Pe 1:8.) 
• Surrender to Peace instead of conflict (Mt 5:9.) 
• Surrender to Patient with others (1 Thess 5:14.) 
• Surrender to Kind look out for others (Phil 2:4.) 
• Surrender to Good, through the narrow gate of life, not the wide gate of destruction (Mt 7:13-14.) 
• Surrender to Faithful assurance when skeptics mock (2 Pe 3:3-4.) 
• Surrender to Gentle (2 Tim 2:24) showing Love, no matter what. 
• Surrender to His control, take up your cross, deny yourself daily and follow Christ (Lu 9:23.) 

CHALLENGING SITUATIONS

Any time you truly acknowledge that God IS for you, it becomes easier and more natural to say NO to the flesh and YES to the Spirit. That’s exactly where you want to go so in your challenging situations, remind yourself then and there, quickly and clearly, that the Lord IS with you and for you. 

Using the scriptures above as a first guide, in your mind, say to yourself something like: 

• “I put off this old self Lord. I receive a renewed mind created in your likeness. I put on the new self in righteousness and holiness” from Eph 4:22-24 above.
• “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” 1 Thess 5:16-18.
• If it is in fellowship with other believers say to yourself something like: “that we may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith, both yours and mine” Rom 1:12.

Dear Friend, Let us be the ones who learn to face our fears, set your mind on things above, not on earthly things, and take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and find TRUE COMFORT for our SOULS!